


Valentine's Day Disasters

by orphan_account



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anti-Valentines, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 10:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13679523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Jax is everyone’s coach in their terrible dating lives, and has no time for his own.





	Valentine's Day Disasters

**Author's Note:**

> Set in season 3. AU where nobody died this season _glares at LoT writers_.
> 
> Huge thanks to [minachandler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minachandler/pseuds/minachandler) for truly excellent beta reading.

  1. Sara



It's February 13th and they’re in Central City for a little vacation, taking the opportunity of a rare lull between anachronism emergencies to catch up with some friends and family. Jax is whistling as he boards the Waverider, hoisting a heavy bag full of gifts and food from his mother. (“Yeah, baby, I’ve heard all about this amazing computer that makes food, but I bet she’s not feeding you like your mother.” He had grumbled a bit, and then grabbed as many of the boxes of food as he could fit.) He drops his bag off in his room, then heads over to see who’s on the bridge.

Sara is sitting in the study, her head in her hands. Jax makes lots of noise coming up the step from the bridge. He thinks sneaking up on an unhappy assassin is probably not recommended.

She looks up at him. “Oh god,” she groans.

“Went _that_ well, huh?” He suppresses a smile, and leans on his elbows on the table across from her.

She puts her head back in her hands. “Horrendous,” she says, her voice muffled. “She said we were fucking idiots who didn’t have enough sense to be in charge of a toaster, never mind a 22nd century time ship. I think I called her a glorified secretary.”

Jax snorts. “Yeah, that’s bad.”

“Honestly, Jax!  _Every_ time I talk to Ava, I screw it up. How do I fix this? I mean, I was hoping…” She pauses.

“What?”

She gives him a dejected look. “I was hoping to end by asking her out.”

“Oh, come on, Sara!” He flops on the table and rolls his eyes at her. 

“I know,” she whines.

“You really thought a work conversation was the way to get _there_?” 

“I don’t know! I thought maybe she’d find the latest disaster _funny_ and --”

Jax raises an eyebrow. “When has Agent Sharpe ever found our shit funny?”

“...Ugh, yeah, okay, I get it. I’ve lost my game,” she says forlornly. She turns the globe on the desk slowly and sighs.

“Oh, no way,” Jax says, pointing at her and staring her down. “You’re not doing this. No ‘I’m a screw-up’ crap. This is totally fixable. We are gonna go to the galley, and get a drink, and make a plan.” He taps the table. “A _plan!_ ”

She gets a tiny hopeful look, looking so much like the younger version of herself, the one he’d met years ago, that he laughs. A teenager in love. “You think we can fix this?”

He reaches across and offers her his hand. She smiles wryly and holds onto it for a second. Then she pulls him up into a hug. “Sure. Your Chief Engineer’s got this,“ he says, patting her on the back. “We’re the Legends. We can fix anything. As long as we can screw it up worse first.” He smiles when she laughs at that. “Might need the whole crew on comms for this one, though,“ he muses.

She untangles herself from him and scowls. “Great. I’m a mission.”

“Only your love life, Captain.”

“Ugh,” she sighs, as they head out. “Can we plan over ice cream?”

“That _is_ the lonely Valentine’s Day tradition,” Jax agrees. “Sounds good.”

“So what did you do today?” she asks as they leave the bridge.

“Oh, you know,” he says, vaguely. “Mom, then dropped by Team Flash. That was pretty cool.”

“Oh, really?” she says, in a tone that he can’t quite read.

* * *

 

  1. Mick



Jax wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache. The engineering patch for Sara's problems apparently required a very loud crew staying up very late. It took them a while to persuade Sara to get Ava on the comms again. Mission accomplished, though -- in the form of a coffee date organised, to everyone's baffled amazement. Would be nice if he could be that efficient with his own dating situation, he's vaguely thinking as he heads out of his room.

As he passes the kitchen, he hears Mick banging around in the kitchen - opening cupboard doors, slamming pots on the stove, and grunting occasionally.

Jax puts his head around the door as he passes the galley. “You sound --” he catches sight of Mick’s face “-- like there’s totally nothing wrong and I’m sorry I said anything.”

Mick grunts. “You want eggs? I’m making eggs.”

Jax contemplates whether eggs might be a metaphor for anything. Like killing people. He decides not. “I could go for eggs.” Jax sits down at the big table and watches Mick quietly for a minute. Eventually he breaks the silence with, “So what exactly is this?”

“Frittata,” Mick says shortly.

“Ah,” Jax says. He’s not sure he knows what that is, but he’s not going to say that.

A minute later, Mick adds, “Was Snart’s favourite.”

“...Oh,” Jax says, for lack of anything better to say.

“I used to make ‘em on his birthday. And after a good heist. You always need a good breakfast after a good heist." He's focusing very hard on the pan of eggs. "Good time of year for a heist, this. Lots of commercial crap going on.”

 _“Oh,”_ Jax says again, his eyes widening.

Mick puts a plate in front of Jax as bread bursts out of the toaster. He looks lost in thought for a while, scrambling eggs and buttering toast. Then he finally looks up at Jax. “You gonna eat ‘em?”

“Sure...” Jax replies, a bit nervously.

“Good,” Mick mumbles. “I - didn’t want to make ‘em just for myself.”

Jax is speechless for a minute. Then he holds out his plate.

Mick twitches towards a smile and points at the pan. “Get ‘em yourself, kid.”

Jax grins at him. Then he serves himself, and tucks into the most delicious breakfast he’s had in a while.

* * *

 

  1. Nate



Afternoon, same day. Jax is in the library. He’s trying to read, but his mind keeps wandering to other things. Like how much he doesn’t care that he doesn't have a date tonight. And there's Nate, who keeps sighing. Loudly.

“You’re totally wallowing, aren’t you?” Jax says, eyeing Nate from across the room, and attempting to sound understanding.

Nate lifts his head from his folded arms. “Am not,” he mumbles.

Jax lifts his eyebrows at him.

“Fine. Maybe a little.”

“Life goes on without Amaya, man,” Jax says. He’s sympathetic, but it’s been months. And Nate is definitely wallowing. There's no answer, so he puts his book down. “Look. It’s just a pointless day made to sell Hallmark cards and make people feel inadequate.”

“Muh,” Nate says, his head back on his arms.

“I’m pretty sure half the crew are gonna be moping on the ship tonight, _without_ dates,” he says, coming over to lean on the desk across from Nate. “At least from what I’ve been hearing.”

“Huh,” Nate says, brightening a little. “Maybe we could do, like, an anti-Valentine’s night. Ooh! With horror movies! And - chili!”

Jax shakes his head and laughs. “Why chili?”

“Just trying to think of non-romantic things. Blood and gore and ground beef.” He counts them out on his fingers, then gives a satisfied nod. “I can make flan. Mick’s teaching me to bake.”

“Flan,” Jax sighs. “Sure. Why not. There’s gonna be a few of us. I never realised how much of a disaster we all were.”

Nate shrugs. “Thought that was pretty obvious, really.”

* * *

 

  1. Martin



Jax is just considering calling Team Flash and asking if there’s anything else he can do for them, when he has a sudden urge to go to the lab. He rolls his eyes, but goes.

“Oh, good, Jefferson. I was looking for you,” Martin says, as Jax enters the lab.

Jax frowns. “Grey, if you’re doing that thing where you try to tell me through the psychic link that you want me to come down here, then stop. It’s really unfair, and I have to do all the moving around, and I always think I just wanted a walk to the lab.”

Martin smiles and points his whiteboard pen at him. “Technically, you did want a walk to the lab, didn’t you?”

“Shut up.” He stops by the whiteboard, picks up another pen and corrects one of Martin’s equations. “So what’s the emergency?”

Martin returns to scribbling on the board next to him. “No emergency, my dear Jefferson. But I do wonder if you might offer me some advice.”

Jax perches on a worktop. “Me? Sure. What about?”

“Well,” Martin says, absently, “I want to surprise Clarissa with a visit.” He looks up. “You know it’s Valentine’s Day, yes?”

“I might have had a few people reminding me, yeah.”

“Well, I was rather hoping to - I don’t know, bring her a gift, or do something nice for her. I’ve missed a number of such days since becoming Firestorm, and I wanted to try and make it up to her. Especially now that we’ve separated Firestorm and I’m back at home with her. We should celebrate! However, I’m not sure what would be appropriate. And since you’re the romantic in this partnership, I thought I might ask your advice.”

Jax puts his hand over his heart. “Grey! That’s so - wait.” He scowls. “Are you making fun of me?”

“Absolutely not, my friend,” Martin says, putting a hand on Jax’s shoulder.

Jax smiles, placated if not convinced. “That’s sweet. But wrong. Pretty sure you’ve had more action than me since we started this whole weird time travelling gig.” A good point, he realises, as he says it. “I mean, you had a kid.”

“My younger self did,” Martin corrects. “But yes, you’re not wrong that I _can_ be romantic,” he muses.

Jax removes Martin’s hand from his shoulder. “Okay, we may be getting into territory that I do _not_ wanna hear about. But, seriously, man. You’ve been with Clarissa forever and you love her. You can plan something she’ll like. Why don’t you take her out somewhere? Like, do you guys have a shared special place, or...?”

Martin puts his pen down and turns to look at Jax properly. “Jefferson, that’s a wonderful idea,” he enthuses. “I could take her for a picnic in Upper East Side Park. We spent a lot of time there when we were first together. There’s a bench we used to sit on and watch the world go by...“ He trails off into memory for a moment. Then he seems to remember Jax. “Oh!” he says suddenly, wide-eyed. “I could take her to the theater. You know that Central City has a wonderful theater district, I’m sure, Jefferson?”

“I do, and that all sounds great. You’re gonna do fine, Grey,” he assures him, clapping him on the back, as he gets up to leave.

“There is one _small_ problem, though,” he adds, just as Jax reaches the door.

He turns back. “Yeah?”

“Ah. Well, you see, Clarissa’s not actually talking to me at the moment.”

Jax rolls his eyes. “What did you do?”

“I, um. I may originally have told her that I wouldn’t be available on Valentine’s Day.”

“Grey! When you’re right here in Central City _in the same time period as her?_ ”

“Yes. Well. There’s a visiting speaker on neuroscience at the university. Professor Sala. And she’s from Romania, and she almost never travels to the United States…”

Jax glares at him, lips pressed tight together. “You’re a terrible husband and you need to change your ways. Like, now.”

“I know,” Martin sighs. “Will you help me explain that to Clarissa?”

“Sure,” Jax sighs. “I’ll put you on the list of people I’m counseling through Valentine’s Day. What’s one more?”

* * *

 

5\. Ray

“I’m allergic to chocolate,” Ray says mournfully. He holds the box out to Jax. “You want these?”

Jax’s eyes widen. “Sure!” He grabs the box. It’s an ornate red and white package, hand-decorated with paper hearts. He sits down at the galley table, tears the wrapping open, and has two of the delicate artisan chocolates in his mouth before he thinks to ask, “Who gave you these?”

“Lily.”

“Lily… Stein? She’s here? And she gave these - to you?”

Ray scowls. “Could you at least try not to sound so surprised?”

Jax gapes a bit. “Sorry! But, wow. Did she say much? You think she’s into you?”

Ray raises his hands to heaven. “I have no idea! She turned up in the lab  -- said she was looking for her dad -- and then she presented me with these and said ‘Happy Valentine’s’!”

“And you…” Jax prompts, waving him on.

“...said ‘I’m allergic to chocolate.’ And - then I kinda ran away.” He flops mournfully into a chair.

“Taking the chocolates with you?”

“Yes. Oh god!” Ray gets up again and starts to pace. “What do I do, Jax?”

Jax slumps against the wall. “Ray, I’ve been helping Legends with dating disasters for like two days now. I’m done. Sorry, but you’re on your own for this one.” He hands back the chocolates and nods at him. “Good luck.”

Then Jax goes the one place he thinks he’s least likely to find people having Valentine’s Day disasters.

* * *

 

+1 Zari and Amaya 

Jax storms into Zari’s room.

She’s sitting on the couch, reading a book. She nods meaningfully at the door as he barges through it. “Why does no one on this ship know how to knock?”

He ignores her. “Do you know how long it’s been since I last had a date?”

She sits back against the wall and looks at him. “Non-sequitur, but I’ll bite. Not a clue. Should I?”

He thinks for a moment. “You know what’s scary? I don’t know either! But I know it’s been too long!” He punctuates the last two words with a stab of his finger in the air. “And instead of going out and finding one, on _Valentine’s Day_ , I’m sitting round talking grown ass adults off ledges when they should be solving their own problems. And looking for where they left their emotional maturity while they’re at it.” 

She cocks her head and regards him, unmoved, through his little speech. Then she says, “Hi. I’m from a police state. Last time I dated was first year of college. I’ve been a little busy being, you know, on the run since then.”

Jax sits down heavily next to her. “Oh. Right. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she shrugs. “Why the date - depression - thing?”

The door buzzer interrupts him. “Now that’s someone who’s learned how to knock,” Zari says approvingly. “Come in, babe." 

Amaya breezes in. She puts her arms around Zari’s neck, leans down and kisses her. “How d’you know it was me? Hi, Jax.”

“Lucky guess. Jax was just telling me why he’s sad that he doesn’t have a date.”

“Valentine’s Day,” he says morosely. “Everyone on the ship’s losing their minds over it. I just want something simple, you know? An evening with a nice girl. Or a nice guy. Is that too much to ask? _Is it?"_  

“Oh, that nonsense,” Amaya says dismissively. “Silly holiday. Don’t care.”

“Not really my thing either,” Zari agrees, grabbing Amaya’s hand and pulling her down onto her lap. Amaya giggles.

Jax rubs his aching head. “Are you trying to tell me,” he says, “that there’s only one uncomplicated, happy couple on this ship… and they don’t care about Valentine’s Day?”

Zari laughs. “Sounds about right. Hey, babe,” she says, tapping Amaya’s shoulder, “you feel like heading off in the jump ship for dinner somewhere?”

Amaya grins. “Didn’t we just say we don’t celebrate this holiday?”

“Oh, we’re not staying in February 2018. I was thinking summer in the ‘40s.”

Amaya _beams_. “Oh! Maybe London? They have long summer evenings in England. A walk along the river at sunset?”

Zari shakes her head with a little fond smile. “That is disgustingly cute and I adore you.”

“You’d better,” Amaya says, smiling.

Jax groans and gets up. “Okay, this is not what I was looking for when I came to find someone to rant to about my lack of game. I’m leaving,” he says, as he hears beeping. He looks down at the communicator he’d forgotten he was holding. “Oh,” he says. “It’s Wally."

Amaya raises an eyebrow. “Wally West? The guy from Team Flash you’re always talking about?”

“That’s the one.” He clicks a button, voice only. “Hey, speedster. How’s life in the fast lane?” As he gets up and waves goodbye to the ladies, he briefly wonders why they appear to be sharing a meaningful look. 

He hopes they have a nice evening.

**Author's Note:**

> Additional content warnings: food and food references throughout. (I'm apparently incapable of writing fic that doesn't feature it.)
> 
> I love comments and always reply!
> 
> On tumblr [here](https://sophiainspace.tumblr.com/)


End file.
